Knowing what was about to come, I warned myself about not liking you too much. I even promised not to like you. I almost broke my own record of not having feelings for anyone in months until you came along. How silly. Very silly of me. You came into my life when I asked Andrea to introduce me to the guy who fits my criteria even though, i knew that guys like this either don't exist, taken or they would just break my heart. I KNEW! So she gave me a link to your facebook and I stared at it for a good second or two, deciding whether i should click that "add as friend" button or press home. Taking the risk, I obviously clicked the first button. My heart raced for a moment, really. I was a bit scared but I had a goal set to myself. I told myself that me and you should just be friends. No matter how nice you are or whether you're flirty or not, we should just be friends and that I shouldn't like you or anything. That was a promise I made to myself months ago. But that was months ago. I now have completely fallen for you. Didn't dare to but after I first met you on Monday, that was it. It took me less than a second to feel a bit of a sting in my heart as if lightning had strike. I'm not saying this as an exaggeration. My sentences might be dramatic but that was exactly how i felt. It was horrible yet beautiful in a way.
Then it was that phone call from you on the same day, it made me realize something. I've been hoping for too much. No doubt about that. You were busy doing your little thing on the other side while I was laying in bed listening to every single word you were saying. You asked me questions to the answers I've told you before. Shows how when you like someone, you just automatically remember whatever they tell you but when to someone, we're just friends, It doesn't really matter. Probably it's like "hey, it's okay. I can ask her again. She wouldn't mind".
A few weeks back I asked you, where do we stand. You said more than friendship, less than a relationship. Well, i guess that's a goner. Maybe it's nothing to you but I depend on that. Truth is, I want you. I want all of you. For the first time in my life, I'm willing to accept a guy for his charms, his flaws and for whoever he is.
Just because she left you unexpectedly, it does not mean I am going to, too. Just because both of us (me and her) have similarities, doesn't mean we're the same people. I think I really can love you to more than you expect if you just.. let. me. try! I mean, I know I can talk so much, and I jump a lot and I'm always so.. hyper. but, maybe that's what you need? i don't know. Who knows.
but if you're willing to open up and let me in, and let me do what I should and let me try, we might have a good ending. A happy one. think about it.
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