I'm not pretty as that 15 or 30 year old. I'm not as confident as Paris Hilton. I'm not as chirpy and happy as my other friends. I'm not multi talented like Nur Aishah. I'm not as special as the head prefect. I'm not as social as well.. socialites. I'm not as fashionable as Monroe or Hepburn. I'm not as friendly as I used to be. I might be smart but I don't know where I'm heading. I might be egoistic but it's bringing me lonely nights. I might have friends but I actually don't really. I might be nice but it's just rarely.
I hate myself. I don't know myself. Where I am going. Anything. I need one guy. To make me feel okay again. Because I suck. I suck so bad. I hate myself. I need you so I can feel useful again. When I make you happy. Or smile. Or laugh. I can be happy.
But then. I would rather be selfish, no? So I shall stand here, on my weak knees almost falling down, with tears strolling down my cheeks like Niagra Falls, my eyes as sore as a bee sting, my body so weak, my heart in ache as never ever before, my mind accepting my punishments and defeats and heartbreaks and pain and hurt, away from you. If that is what you call for.
Love twists minds. And in mine. You are more important than I am.
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