So, it's one o'clock in the morning.Most of the people would be asleep.Well, I was supposed to.See,now I am in the middle of school holidays.What usually would a teenager do during school holidays? That's right! Hang out with friends, stay up late, do whatever they want.Well, I can't really hang out with my friends that much.That's probably another story.Anyway,I stay up late. Hey, you can't really blame me as i was watching Sabrina,The teenage witch on youtube. It is a really nice show i tell you.Everyone should watch it and wizards of waverly place wouldn't even dare to exist.I was watching and suddenly my mum came bashing in.She said she is sick of me getting in bed late and waking up late,and keep rambling on about stuff.Well,she actually did these kind of lecturing stuff loads of time.Usually,I'll ignore her,and it didnt actually hit me or get to me.Unfortunately or maybe fortunately,after she's done and left my room.I started crying in the dark.It does look kind of emo,but I'll assure you it's not even close.

As I was crying, I actually thought of why am I crying this time,but not previous times?Honestly,I haven't found an answer yet.At that moment,everything and anything that i could remember suddenly just rushed to my head. Things are just floating and spinning round my head. I love crying. It lets out emotions, and I truly thank god that we get to cry. I think being able to cry is a gift,and those people who says that boys shouldn't cry is just crap. I personally think boys who cry are really vulnerable and cute,you can see the real them. If a boy is not afraid to cry in front of you,you there, is a lucky girl,cause he trusts you enough to let you witness his emotions. I love how im just sixteen and talking like and\ adult giving love advice and stuff. I am seriously the last one who you should take notes from.

I thought of him too,when sobbing my lungs out.Him..well this is a funny story. You won't laugh,im being sarcastic.Anyway,I dont even remember when i started to fall for him.He is very attractive that's for sure,and these days,i am getting to know him more,which makes me fall for him even harder,which does not really make sense cause i am trying to stop.Too many "which" in a sentence there.haha.Okay so,my brother is friends with his sister,and I know he likes someone..thanks to social networking sites. I have no clue who the someone is..and I am kinda desperately need to know it, because my brother is saying it's me and im starting to believe it.Not a good sign there. I keep reminding myself it wont be me and he wont ever in his life fall for a girl like me. I don't want to get my hopes high,cause you know,the higher you get your hopes,the harder and more painful you'll feel when you hit the ground.These days,he just cant get of my mind.Oh, he smiled at me today..that was like the most perfect smile ever. I am actually smiling right now thinking about his smile.He has loads of friends,there's girls and guys. To be honest,those girls he hang out with,are much more beautiful than I am. It's not good to compare,i know,but it's the truth. Did I mention i am shy as hell too? Well,yeah, and that doesn't help with anything. I guess I am just a fool to think that he will actually fall for me too huh?

Yes,I am sneaking around typing this post now.My mum told me to sleep,but i dont think i can. For the record,sneaking around is not fun,if you are going to try it.My heart now feels like it's gonna go for a roller coaster ride.Then why sneak around huh? I need to express my feelings now if not i can't really get to sleep.Things will just keep going round and round and round in my head.I was debating whether to open a new blog and type all my feelings or not earlier. I have a blog,with near 400 posts.I started since 2009 probably.I post my daily life there,not so much of my feelings though.Plus,my cousins read that blog,and it's really weird knowing that they are catching up with my feelings if I actually posted all my thoughts there.

I feel a lot better right now.I didn't even typed that much in a blog post before,i think.This is amazing.Well,I have a lot more stories to tell if you decided to stay tuned.More posts will come in your way,fingers crossed I won't get lazy or anything.I love story telling ,via internet...public speaking is not my forte.This way actually made me loosen up.Thank you blogger for your existence.

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.