because not talking , breaks the silence anyway :(

im very indecisive . Never knew what i wanted , or maybe , i do but i just never have the effort to start something new to myself . I want to go to a far away land where i can actually start a life of my own , decide for myself without anyone telling me what to do , when to do it and why i should do it . The funniest things is that , i've not decided to make a move yet . It's like .. Im to lazy to work on it which is a real bummer cause i really want those A's to start something new of myself . It's like so lame , really , even i have to admit that . And how am i suppose to get a's ? by a miracle god would love to send me ? i dont think so . It doesn't work like that , and i have to understand that things don't always go as you wish cause to make it happen , YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN . Not just watch it drop from the sky . Well , i don't know . I need something to motivate myself . What is it that i really want ? I already have everything that i've always really wanted .