"I looked at you today with a question in my head. Should I be worried that I feel this way or should I be happy? I then measured it both ways. I realized I was happier than I was worried" - unknown, tumblr 2012
HAHAHA. Hmmm, okay. So because I felt like doing this and I've wanted to do this since forever, I'll do this today. Not bad. 2 posts in a day.
This one's for my boyfriend. Heeeeeee *so shy* (not really)I honestly do not know when did we start dating. To some people, without an official date, It isn't official. Without him proposing, going down to his knees, we aren't together. If he doesn't say I love you often, he's been lying about his feelings. If he doesn't smile much when he's with you, he's faking his feelings.
They say love can be many splendid things. It dilates your pupils, makes your blood flows faster. Therefore, makes your heart beats faster. Your palms would start sweating, knees would start feeling weak. You start gazing into space and day dreaming to yourself, smiling like a fool. That's all physical. For me, I feel like there's this whole lump of something I can't explain, placed in my chest. I start getting so excited when it comes to seeing him that I'd start jumping and squealing. You know how giggly I can get. I know this sounds silly but I still get nervous every morning before school when I think of text him and I just still do oh no , not at all . I can feel the butterflies in my tummy and I get so excited telling my mom about him .
It all started on 2012 . I'm 17 and I liked him. We had a thing. After that, we're not be a friend anymore . Like a sweetheart he has always been, he actually made the effort to come with my best friend to watch me maybe. Being stubborn, I didn't believe him. I went through this before. It didn't end well and I didn't want to go through it anymore. A month later, during my birthday, Shawne (the best friend) threw me a surprise party and he was there. My friend's Zen by the way. HAHAHHA. So yeah, no offense to everyone else but Zen's birthday gift was the best among all. He made me this stop motion animation video. Took him more than 400 pictures to draw everything and turn it into something so amazing. It made me cry. He knew me so well to give me something that had to have effort. I never had anyone make me something so precious before and until today, I can watch it over and over again and not get bored. oh my lovely send a 'hadiah , a special ' to my house . I love him , so much . seriously I fall in love with him .
After that, I had a thing with someone else. That didn't work out either. My best friend had passed away in an accident. It wasn't so great at that time. God kept testing my patience and faith.
. I missed Shawne and told myself that maybe this isn't a good time to initiate my feelings. After some time, I kept thinking about what syaza told me about ejatt .To try it out and give him a chance. I was torn in between. I didn't know what to do. BUT LYNETTE JUST HAD TO THROW A PARTY AT NIGHT AND PUT LIGHTED CANDLES EVERYWHERE AROUND HER SUPER AWESOME BACKYARD NEAR THE LAKE, AND ZEN JUST HAD TO SIT NEXT TO ME THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GAZING AT THE WATER that my feelings just grew. I didn't want to tell anyone but since Mel tells me everything, I told Mel and she said that I should be with him. Being the one who doesn't know how to feel shy, I wanna askedejatt directly into his face if he still liked me and that idiot said he wouldn't tell me.
I honestly have never felt anything like this and when they talked about different, this is different. One didn't feel the same way back and the other was Shawne but he loved our friendship enough to not risk it. Then ejatt came in and made me the happiest person alive. Have you ever loved someone so much that every night before you sleep, you start talking to God and telling Him how grateful you are for his/her presence in your life? Have you ever woken up in the morning so ecstatic trying to look so awake just so you can greet them with the biggest smile? I know this is new and it just started around a month and a half ago but I know it. I just know it that this is something that's just so amazing you can't contain it any longer. I've never missed someone 15 minutes after school has ended before. I've never wanted to be by someone's side so much before. But this is what I'm feeling.
So aizat, if you're 'rajin' enough to read this post until here, I want to tell you that I love you. I'm sorry for being clingy and so jealous a lot. I'm sorry if I might annoy you all the time. I'm sorry for always getting upset at little things and I'm sorry for always talking and not listening. I'm sorry if I don't ask you how was your day all the time, I tend to forget because I'd get so excited on telling you about my day. I'm sorry for being rude to you and purposely making you jealous, you're cute when you're jealous. I'm sorry if I didn't want to bake you cookies . I love you. I can't promise you anything because I'm scared I'd break it but I promise I will try my best to always make you happy and that I'd try to stick with you through everything. I'm sorry if this post was too mushy and disgusting. HAHAHA but again and again, i love you.
. I missed Shawne and told myself that maybe this isn't a good time to initiate my feelings. After some time, I kept thinking about what syaza told me about ejatt .To try it out and give him a chance. I was torn in between. I didn't know what to do. BUT LYNETTE JUST HAD TO THROW A PARTY AT NIGHT AND PUT LIGHTED CANDLES EVERYWHERE AROUND HER SUPER AWESOME BACKYARD NEAR THE LAKE, AND ZEN JUST HAD TO SIT NEXT TO ME THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GAZING AT THE WATER that my feelings just grew. I didn't want to tell anyone but since Mel tells me everything, I told Mel and she said that I should be with him. Being the one who doesn't know how to feel shy, I wanna askedejatt directly into his face if he still liked me and that idiot said he wouldn't tell me.
I honestly have never felt anything like this and when they talked about different, this is different. One didn't feel the same way back and the other was Shawne but he loved our friendship enough to not risk it. Then ejatt came in and made me the happiest person alive. Have you ever loved someone so much that every night before you sleep, you start talking to God and telling Him how grateful you are for his/her presence in your life? Have you ever woken up in the morning so ecstatic trying to look so awake just so you can greet them with the biggest smile? I know this is new and it just started around a month and a half ago but I know it. I just know it that this is something that's just so amazing you can't contain it any longer. I've never missed someone 15 minutes after school has ended before. I've never wanted to be by someone's side so much before. But this is what I'm feeling.
So aizat, if you're 'rajin' enough to read this post until here, I want to tell you that I love you. I'm sorry for being clingy and so jealous a lot. I'm sorry if I might annoy you all the time. I'm sorry for always getting upset at little things and I'm sorry for always talking and not listening. I'm sorry if I don't ask you how was your day all the time, I tend to forget because I'd get so excited on telling you about my day. I'm sorry for being rude to you and purposely making you jealous, you're cute when you're jealous. I'm sorry if I didn't want to bake you cookies . I love you. I can't promise you anything because I'm scared I'd break it but I promise I will try my best to always make you happy and that I'd try to stick with you through everything. I'm sorry if this post was too mushy and disgusting. HAHAHA but again and again, i love you.
dulu masa I cakap I sayang yo sebagai kawan , you mcm nak I sayang you lebih , apabila I sayang you lebih dari kawan , you tinggalkan I. But I love you . always .
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